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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between Whitney Houston and Amy Winehouse? About 204 days."

"I hate those who are anti-democracy, anti-freedom or anti-semitic but if there is one anti thing that i like it is Anti-jokes"

"Ruin a quote by attributing it to the wrong person ""Don't cry because it is over. Smile because it happened."" -Adolf Hitler, 1945"

"What's the difference between a truck full of marbles and a truck full of babies? You can't unload a truck full of marbles with a pitchfork."

"Dear NFL: Super Bowl. I'll just let them process this a little bit. They should do something by the time I'm up tomorrow."

"How many sex addicts does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Just two, but they'd have to be really tiny."

"The Discovery Channel should be on a different channel every day."

"Two men came to the door asking if I'd found Jesus. I had no idea he was missing and I suddenly got nervous thinking I might be a suspect."

"Why do Irishmen grow mustaches? So they look like their mothers"

"A joke I wrote in the style of Mitch Hedberg... I'm gonna change my name to 'marriage,' man. That way, all those girls out there can be saving themselves for *me*!"