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Joke of the Day
"What's a Jedi's favorite brand of vodka? Skyy. Only Sith deal in Absolut."
Next Joke
"ME: [in front of mirror] Bloody Mary Bloody Mary Bloody Mary *Bloody Mary appears* ME: I'm moving today and need your help BLOODY MARY: Shit"
"Why won't the honeydew marry the watermelon? Because they cantaloupe.."
"If I lived in Gotham City I'd always be hinting I was Batman to get freebies. ""I'll get the bat-check. I mean regular check. Bat-thanks."""
"What's the difference between a circus and a whore house? My dad didn't meet my mom at a circus or take me their when I turned 5"
"There are only two things in this world visible from space. One is the Great Wall of China and the other is my pile of laundry."
"Why are there no awards for excellence in betas? Because no one wants to be the master beta tester."
"Money is the root of all evil, until the collection plate comes around"
"Why did George Lucas Cross The Road? To urinate on my childhood and sell it back to be on blu-ray for $80."
"I have such a bad cold that when I breathe through my nose, it sounds like Marge Simpson sighing/expressing disapproval."