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Joke of the Day

"Have you heard about the new Orphanage they're building in Baja Cali, Mexico? They're calling it 'No Mames'"

"It is true that you may fool all of the people some of the time; you can even fool some the people all of the time; but you can't fool all of the people all of the time."

"Girl, you gotta be tired coz you been runnin through my mind all day. Note to self, stop saying that pickup lines to the girls in wheelchairs."

"BoyFriend: Why didn't you give me anything for my birthday? GirlFriend: You told me to surprise you."

"Whats the difference between a Pope and acne? Acne doesn't come on a boy's face until he is around 12."

"When your only tool is a hammer, every problem looks like your brother in law Steve"

"I thought the stories I wrote were a little black-and-white, but my publisher seemed to like them. He said he wants some new ones."

"You know you just can't tell Penguin jokes. They just don't fly"

"Which sexual position produces the ugliest children? Ask your mother"

"Since 1782, at the age of 12, Beethoven was composing some of the greatest music ever, of course since 1827 all he has been doing is decomposing."