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Joke of the Day

"I hate it when people show up at MY house, knock on MY door, and then ask me why I'm not wearing pants."

"I AM A CAPITALIST YES I AM"

"What do you call a cheap hooker? A bang for your buck."

"[boss finds pics of me snowboarding] ""You missed work bc you said you were sick...& judging from these pics, YOU WERENT LYING"" *fist bump*"

"I need professional help. A chef and a butler should do it."

"Need help with your math homework? Visit mcdonalds.com/careers"

"What do you call a guy who plays the guitar unplugged? An amputee"

"Even people who are good for nothing can bring smile on your face, when pushed down the stairs..."

"What did the French stoner say? 80 blaze it"

"From now on everyone should start saying ""No"" when asked to be put on hold."