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Joke of the Day

"When I was in my twenties we didn't have hipsters we had AIDS, which was almost as bad."

"Biggest joke on the planet. Real Madrid"

"My kids had a shirt made for me that says 'father of the year 2014 quarter finalist'."

"Video games don't cause violence, they PREVENT it. Whenever I see a turtle now, I chuck it off the nearest cliff where it can't hurt anyone."

"I mailed my letter to Santa today. It was an index card that said ""not AIDS."""

"What do black guy's have that is twice the size of white men's, and expands upon contact with a woman? A criminal record."

"How many introverts does it take to screw in a light bulb? Why does it have to be a group activity?"

"How did Humpty Dumpty get ripped? Wall-sits."

"Why couldn't Bach pay for his dinner? Because he was Baroque."

"I drank half a bottle of NyQuil and tried to call Audrey Hepburn on my microwave"