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Joke of the Day

"Of all the millions of candidates in history, it figures that Hitler would be the one to keep his campaign promises."

"[NSFW] What's a 6.9? Another good thing spoiled by a tampon."

"What did the little mountain say to the big mountain? ""Hi, Cliff """

"I don't think people realize how terrible Blackbeard was... The correct term is African Americanbeard"

"Believe everything your tv tells you (sponges can talk, turtles eat pizza, love is real)"

"[commercial for rakes] ""Are u tired of eating leaves?"""

"Therapist: what was it like growing up? Me: I just [reaches for tissues] kept getting taller."

"If I cut a coupon out of the paper, get a code word from the radio, then watch a morning show & answer 3 questions, I get 10% off a coffee."

"""Hi, it's me. I can't get to the phone right now, even though it's right here in my hand."""

"Not sure why me wife is only mad at me. My 4 year old forgot her birthday too."