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Joke of the Day

"I'm in shape. Round is a shape isn't it"

"I'm not sure if I heard a bootleg firecracker... or a pound of dynamite."

"What's the difference between a nail and a painting? It only takes one nail to hang a painting."

"Knock knock. ""Who's there?"" ""Orange."" ""Orange who?"" Knock knock. ""Who's there?"" ""Orange."" ""Orange who?"" Knock knock. ""WHO'S THERE?"" ""The president."" ""Well, why didn't you just say so?"" ""I did."""

"Who knows how to sing Mariah Carey songs? Not Mariah Carey"

"started my own brewery kindof just pour root beer into square bottles."

"If you think I'm an alcoholic... If you think **I'm** an alcoholic, you should see this guy Jesus he got hammered in my church once."

"Waiter: How did you find your steak sir? Customer: Oh I just moved the potatoes and there it was!"

"A quadriplegic goes on a blind date... And he gets stood up."

"Did you hear about the guy who fell into a waterhole? Well, it's a deep subject."