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Joke of the Day
"Who knows how to sing Mariah Carey songs? Not Mariah Carey"
Next Joke
"I wish my lawn were a depressed emo so it would just cut itself."
"Jesus: Go forth. You are now fishers of men. Peter: *harpoons a guy* Jesus: Too literal, bro."
"Why the hate for necromancers?T They're just trying to raise a family."
"Anyone need a job? I hear Malaysia Airlines is looking for people. ^im ^so ^sorry"
"My hobbies include 1. Refreshing the same fucking apps over and over 2. Winning arguments in my head that are already over 3. Starring into the fridge because I'm bored ..."
"What does John F. Kennedy have in common with the current Democratic Party? No brains"
"What do you call a snobbish criminal going down the stairs? A condescending con descending (duh dun dun chh)"
"Stop scrolling. You need to sleep. (:"
"Have you been shopping for a dishwasher lately? I have Juan on sale."