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Joke of the Day

"Hi, I'm hosting a charity disco & raffle next Saturday 29nd September, to raise money for people who struggle to reach orgasm. If you can't come let me know."

"I'm sick and tired of scandals always being named ""-gate"" The only thing about it that consoles me is there's a parallel universe where Watergate Hotel was instead named after John Hancock."

"What do you call a baby pizza with epilepsy? Little Seizures."

"What do you call a black guy who goes to college? A Basketball player."

"What animal has more lives than a cat? A frog. It croaks every night."

"What do you call a rifle that fires 3 bullets at once? A trifle!"

"My girlfriend calls me the gas station... Because I have 6-10 pumps."

"My girlfriend attended a 3 day course on ""How Not to talk on the phone"" but missed the beginning. She mistook the course to be ""How to talk on the phone."""

"Boys want to play Most young men like the idea of (eventually) marrying a living doll; but on a first date, they'd actually prefer a wined-up toy."

"I think the 2016 Cubs would beat the 1908 Cubs. First, the 1908 Cubs are all dead. Second, the 2016 Cubs are all alive."