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Joke of the Day

"Knock knock. The game."

"What did the big chimney say to the smaller chimney? You're too young to be smoking!"

"Parallel lines have so much in common.... it's a shame they're never gonna meet."

"In an alternate universe cats feed humans Lean Cuisines while muttering ""I don't know how you eat that shit""."

"I applied to Hogwarts the a few weeks back. Unfortunately, I didn't get accepted. Figured I could just Slytherin."

"How are a grenade and a wife similar? If you pull the ring off it, the house is gone"

"I once had a large gay following. But then I ducked into an alley and lost him."

"As a funeral director, I always tie the shoe laces together of the deceased.The zombie apocalypse will be hilarious."

"A depressed man walked into a bar... He told the bartender to give him his best shot"

"Snapchat is going public in March with a $30 billion IPO. Investors only hope the value of stock shares holds up longer than its snaps."