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Joke of the Day

"[courtroom] Me: ""I OBJECT YOUR HONOR"" Judge: on what grounds? ""LEGAL MUMBO JUMBO"" Prosecutor: he's good Judge: *slams gavel* case dismissed."

"I bought a new thesaurus the other day. It's nothing to write house about."

"""ICE BUCKET CHALLENGE LOL!"" -captain of the Titanic"

"Wheather you have a lot of sex or watch porn frequently... without propper protection you're going to catch a virus."

"Why are Alabama weddings so small? They've only gotta invite one family"

"I was given a load of plasticine for Christmas... I'm not sure what to make of it."

"Can we all just agree that nothing needs to be connected to Facebook ever?"

"How do you start a conversation about men's rights? Mention feminism."

"Pillow fights didn't last as long in the Stone Age."

"Why did Moses spend 40 years romeing in the desert he dropped a quarter"