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Joke of the Day

"[courtroom] Me: ""I OBJECT YOUR HONOR"" Judge: on what grounds? ""LEGAL MUMBO JUMBO"" Prosecutor: he's good Judge: *slams gavel* case dismissed."

"What's the worst thing about being Thai? Everyone automatically assumes you have a small dick, even though you're a female."

"My wife complained that the Land's End catalog was showing too much camo print this season... I replied: lots of people are suddenly into camo, but I just don't see it."

"""There's a guy that jumped off the Pont Neuf!"" He must be in Seine."

"The Oscar Mayer Weinermobile got in a huge accident earlier. I never sausage a thing in my life. In frank, it was the wurst."

"Santa Hates Blonds Why did the blond slap Santa? He kept saying ""Ho Ho Ho"" *dum roll - rim slap*"

"My pet rabbit, Nickel, just died. So I buried him in the yard. Now I just have a Nickel-less cage."

"My friends laughed at me when I said I wanted to be a comedian... Well they're not laughing now"

"The Walking Dead. Or better known as The Running Living."

"How to Make A Cat Go Woof"