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Joke of the Day

"You say, ""I think we should see other people"" like I haven't been doing so ever since we started dating."

"Dating tip: Walk up to a girl in a club, smile, look into her eyes, take her hand and walk away. If she wants her hand back, she'll find you"

"I didn't know owls were religious Until someone told me they were a bird of pray"

"Whenever an automatic hand dryer doesn't turn on for me, I like to think my diet is really working."

"How do you tell a boy tree from a girl tree? Boy trees have woodpeckers."

"Your mother..."

"ENTER PASSWORD. WRONG. WRONG. WRONG. WRONG. WRONG. WRONG. RESET PASSWORD. NEW PASSWORD CAN'T BE OLD PASSWORD. sets fire to computer"

"Bill Gates is donating $10Billion to help children everywhere get vaccinations. ...But you know they're just gonna spend it on booze."

"I tried to read through Dante's Inferno once, but it was dry as hell."

"Weed is the answer... .. when your parents tells you to be the highest among the rest of the students in your class."