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Joke of the Day
"What's the speed limit of sex? 68, because if you go 69 you'll flip over and eat it."
Next Joke
"Do You Like Hardee's? Then you're gonna love how Hardee's nuts hit your face."
"What is the difference betwen a blonde and a Lamborghini? You don't let your friends borrow your Lamborghini."
"Omg I'm so thirsty- *Kool-Aid Man busts through wall* OH YEAHH *Sugar-free zero calorie Kool-Aid Man jiggles door handle* LITTLE HELP HERE"
"Me: I'd kill for a body like that Them: well by monitoring your calorie intake and daily exercise you c- Me: yeah I'd rather kill"
"[sees crush] Oh you're going to the mall? Wow weird me too. I totally need a new *tries to think of something at the mall* escalator"
"PEOPLE OF THE PLANE LISTEN TO ME WHEN THE SEATBELT LIGHT GOES OFF STAND UP IMMEDIATELY OR YOUR SPOT IN THE NON-MOVING LINE WON'T BE ASSURED"
"I don't trust a restaurant that advertises ""Now with more bacon!"" because it means they were holding out on me to begin with."
"Jesus walks into a bar and says ""I'll just have water"""
"How do you fix a woman's watch? You don't. There is a clock on the oven."