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Joke of the Day

"Why do black people like fried chicken? Because its delicious."

"CW: Have you had 5 guys? Me: *blank stare* That's kinda personal don't ya think? And that's when I found out it's the name of a burger joint"

"Now what's on the menu? Me-n-u"

"Obviously, Mario Kart is not a documentary. It's a dramatization of real events."

"If the salvation army wants a donation from me then they better get a kettle big enough to put my son in."

"[writing my first autopsy report] There was a slight mix-up initially but it turns out the guy died from an accidental autopsy"

"When someone says something to me, not only am I able to respond to them, I feel like I have to. It is my response ability."

"There is a big fat naked guy and another naked guy behind him who has a big nose. The front guy turns around, what happens to guy behind? He broke his nose."

"Every time I use Twitter secretly at work and a colleague asks me why I'm laughing, ""this pie chart is hilarious!"" never sounds believable."

"Why is it fun to play with matches ? They're lit."