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Joke of the Day
"Turtles think tortoises are pretentious as hell."
Next Joke
"What do you call a guy who hangs out with a bunch of musicians? A drummer."
"The people in the room next door are definitely just furiously making their bed. Nothing more. NOTHING MORE."
"My doctor told me I have 2 months to live So I shot him and the judge gave me 30 years"
"[Mugshot photographer] Me: now lets do a silly one"
"I have a phobia of German sausage Yes, I fear the wurst."
"What did the Redditor say at his wedding? TIL death do us part."
"You never have to worry about love at first sight if you steadfastly keep looking at your phone."
"What do a Pediatrician and Podiatrist have in common? Their patients are 2'"
"Look you asked me to be your child's Godfather so don't get pissed at me because I taught him how to break knees and collect debts."