198552

Joke of the Day

"Knock knock Who's there? No one. You imagined the knocking due to mental illness brought on by crushing loneliness."

"Eating a full box of chocolate is like shi# posting. After some time you get a lot of backfire and takes a lot of time to get yourself clean."

"why put cookie dough in the oven when you can put it in your mouth"

"[reading test results] ""It looks like you're gonna be just fine"" [nurse whispers in ear] ""Lol my bad u got like 6 weeks"" -Steve Harvey M.D."

"Dating tip: Girls like guys who takes control. Pick up a horse and ask ""Where should I put this horse?"" When she tells you, say no"

"Why didn't the President fight with the chair? Because we don't negotiate with chair-orrists."

"A 9 year old patient in the hospital i work at had to have his leg amputated. He asked the doctor ""will my leg ever grow back?"" The Doctor replied ""sorry Johnny, you only limb once"""

"maybe she's born with it, maybe it's compulsive engagement in pleasurable habits despite their negative consequences"

"Drug dealing is a great occupation because if it doesn't work out, you can always tutor children in fractions."

"I always wonder what the nurses reaction was like after I leave a half eaten sandwich in a coma patients hand."