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Joke of the Day

"What's it called when an oil rig makes an inappropriate joke? Crude humor."

"How my girlfriend stay's thin. Wanna know how my girlfriend stays thin? She burns most of her calories jumping to conclusions."

"A man brings his wife as Aspirin... She says, 'Why did you bring me this? I don't have a headache.' He says, 'Good, let's fuck!'."

"My black friend asked me if there's a colored printer in the library. I said ""Shit man, it's 2015 you can use whatever printer you want!"""

"Why did the hipsters die of dehydration? They stayed away from the mainstream."

"Everyone...I've got Tom Jones syndrome.... I wouldn't say it's common, but it's not unusal."

"Why do buddhist make bad vacuum salesman? They can't deal with attachments."

"One of my personalities goes to the grocery store and buys healthy food... Now, I can't find anything to eat in the fridge."

"Some say a world without sin is ideal, but I disagree. After all, there's only so many problems which can be answered with cos and tan."

"It's important to distinguish between a seal and a sealion. A sealion is just like a seal, but it's either gained or lost electrons."