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Joke of the Day

"2015 was an odd year It will all even out this year though"

"Why are divorces so damn expensive? Because they are fucking worth it!"

"I remember when a minimum wage job was a stepping stone, not a career."

"I may be weird, but everyone needs a buddy who will show up at 2 a.m. and help get the dead zebra out of the septic tank without judging you"

"What do they call the Hunger Games in Ethiopia? Games."

"What did the blind, one-legged retarded kid get for Christmas? cancer"

"awfully bold of you to fly the Good Year blimp on a year that has been extremely bad thus far"

"[first date] ME: one of my biggest pet peeves is people who think the world revolves around them MY DATE, WHO IS THE SUN: i see"

"Prior to officially becoming a part of the United States, what was Oregon like? It was very unOregonized."

"Why is Time a whore? Because she fucks everybody."