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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a cow that just gave birth? De-calf-einated"

"Why do old people read the Bible so much? Cramming for finals"

"*first date (Me, texting) This is awful. She's boring, has no sense of humor & rude Her: You know you speak out loud when you text, right?"

"What happened after the ugly man married the beautiful blonde? They had a wedding reception."

"Did you hear about the guy who tried to drown his wife with cough syrup before finally strangling her to death? He was jailed for pre-medicated murder."

"There are a lot of good times... But 6:30 is hands down the best time."

"Have you ever been to an Amish party? Those guys really raise the roof!"

"How does a Welshman find a sheep in tall grass? Attractive"

"Bloody Foreigner... ...coming over here, wanting to know what love is."

"What did the doctor tell the panda bear after the results of his child's paternity test came back? I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but the results are a bit grizzly."