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Joke of the Day

"Why is New Jersey called the Garden State? Cause you're always guardin' your wallet, guardin' your car, and guardin' your house."

"My dog took his raw food upstairs and ate it in my bed. How's your night going?"

"the karate policy at this nursing home is bullshit"

"Be sure that you go straight home after school I can't I live just round the corner !"

"#ThingsGirlsDoThatGuysHate tease a man and get all his attention while the second velociraptor ambushes him from his blind spot"

"Why does Father Time wear bandages? Because day breaks and night falls."

"Man, Trump has gotten a tremendous amounts of votes... Would be a shame if someone deleted them"

"Nobody likes you ""100 Calorie Packs."" Nobody."

"I told the barber, ""a little off the top."" So he gave me a circumcision."

"Dating is a lot like parking All the good ones are taken. The rest take a bunch of effort or are handicapped."