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Joke of the Day

"If I believed changing my profile picture could change the world I'd change it to a picture of vending machines that dispense tiger cubs"

"A woman woke her husband in the middle of the night. ""There's a burglar downstairs eating the cake that I made this morning."" ""Who shall I call"" her husband asked ""police or ambulance?"""

"So I was going down on my girlfriend... ...When I tasted horse semen. I then screamed ""So grandma! That's how you died!"""

"You Know The Economy is really Bad when even God starts laying people off #pope"

"My signature move is getting drunk before anyone can ask me to be the designated driver."

"What does a goose do What can a goose do, that a duck can't, and that your lawyer should ? Stick his bill up his ass."

"What did M. Night Shyamalan say about a duck's penis? What a twist."

"How do you pick up a fat chick? Piece of cake."

"How does software eat it's food? By taking large bytes!"

"How can you tell when a girl is vegan? She'll tell you"