109286

Joke of the Day

"I had a blind date last night At least I think it was a date. The blindfold and duct tape was a bit different."

"Autocorrect changed ""you're so wise"" to ""you're so wide"", and now I need to find a good hiding spot before my wife comes home."

"How did Mitt Romney get a 14% tax rate? He claimed 47% of America as dependents."

"What do you call two ants that run away to get married? Antelopes"

"So proud watching my son fight invisible monsters in the outfield while the ball rolls right past him."

"My girlfriend told me stop singing wonderwall. I said maaaaybe...."

"Her: You know when you're craving a cheeseburger but you order a salad instead... Me: (wiping ketchup off my face with my sleeve) No."

"How do you keep an idiot busy for hours? [Click here to find out the answer.](http://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/2b57xv/how_do_you_keep_an_idiot_busy_for_hours/)"

"Now that dogs have been shown to be able to sniff out cancer, is this the end for the cat scan?"

"History Trivia: In many photographs of Hitler,a golden retriever wearing a Nazi uniform can be seen. This is notorious war criminal Herr Bud"