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Joke of the Day

"My friend said after getting his second divorce that he forgot what pussy looks like... But he knows what a cunt looks like"

"What did the bee say to his wife? No on knows. It's a Mister Bee."

"Why is rust on a car orange? Because its true car-rot"

"Two guys walk into a bar. The third one ducks."

"My wife left me for an Indian guy I know he's going to treat her well, I heard they worship cows."

"A white guy and a black guy walk into a bar... The bartender says, ""your kind isn't welcome here."" They kick the nigger out, and everyone laughs, and has a drink of beer."

"What's a orphans first words? I don't know. But it sure as hell isn't mommy or daddy."

"[Ouija board] O spirits, let me talk to m- C-O-N-N-E-C-T-I-N-G C-O-N-N-E-C-T-I-N-G C-O-N-N-E-C-T-I *squints* What the heck? A 3G board?"

"Who was the roundest knight at King Arthur's table? Circumference"

"I'm in a room with Trump, Hillary and a gun and I'm allowed to legally shoot one of them. Whoever lives becomes president. Who do I shoot? Myself."