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Joke of the Day

"If I'm ever reincarnated I hope I get to be a bear because I'll be like ""stop playing dead, I used to be human. That shits not gonna work!"""

"Why does Bono always wear those glasses? Because he still hasn't found what he's looking for."

"The universe implodes.... No matter."

"Why do people with no arms have difficulty remembering? Because they can't put their finger on it."

"What does a good bar and a good woman have in common? Liquor in the front poker in the back."

"What's the difference between Iron Man And Iron Woman? Iron Man is a superhero, Iron Woman is a command."

"Why did the chicken cross the road? To get hit by a car because Trump won."

"His homebuilt e-cigarette vapor mod with banana custard glycerine is so sexy... Said no girl ever"

"Virgin mobile employee asked when imma pay the bill and I said ""I'll pay when Lebron's hairline stops receding."" I got sent to collections."

"eBay is so useless. I tried to look up lighters and all they had was 13,749 matches."