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Joke of the Day

"Cop: First name please... ""Frida"" Cop: Last name... ""Gomam"" Cop: You're Frida Gomam? *peels out* Cop: Nice, nice"

"Has anyone heard the joke about the magic tractor? it was driving down the road and it turned into a field."

"What do you call Charlie Sheen's brother if he were a financial advisor? Emilio Investevez. Fun game/running joke friends in college used to play. Wondering if Reddit would enjoy the game too."

"How can you make a basset hound fast? Take away its food!"

"*sees my stepfather on Xmas* Hey Chip, Feliz Notmydad you piece of shit"

"The Clippers are gonna be bought by the former CEO of Microsoft. Apparently he's looking for something to occupy himself while Windows is installing ""critical updates."""

"If you think you could never kill another human being, you haven't met enough people."

"Women who seek to be equal to men...LACK AMBITION!"

"If you're American when you go into the bathroom and American when you come out, what are you *IN* the bathroom? European."

"How do you embarrass an archaeologist? Give him a used tampon and ask him what period"