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Joke of the Day

"Interviewer: what's your biggest weakness? Dwayne Johnson: *sweating nervously* certainly not paper that's for sure"

"So I asked my grandma I asked my grandma if she had ever tried 69. She said, ""No, but I have done 53 -- that's all the sailors I could screw in one night."""

"What does a horny assassin do? Netflix and Kill."

"Q: How did the blonde die drinking milk? A: The cow fell on her."

"How does an Australian clean is bum? Bidet, mate."

"How did harry potter get down the hill?? Walking .. JK Rownling"

"What do you get when you combine a Christmas tree with an iPad?"

"Why do women wear bras anyway? If you need something to hold your boobs, men are here."

"Got diagnosed with Kyohosis The doctor diagnosed me with kyphosis. 85 degree curvature. I had my suspicions for a while, but the diagnosis proved to me that it wasn't just a hunch."

"Recently a fellow coin maker challenged me to beat his best work. (x-post /r/3amjokes) When I punched his daughter's face, he said ""That's not what I mint."" At least his daughter was impressed."