108843

Joke of the Day

"My math professor had to go into rehab yesterday. He had sum problems."

"Spaghetti, because you didn't like that shirt anyways"

"How the hell wizards don't set fire to themselves, I'll never understand; attempting to make potions and stuff, with those dangly sleeves."

"How many atheists does it take to change a lightbulb? Two. One to actually change the bulb, and the other to videotape the job so fundamentalists won't claim that god it."

"wife:Gotta go. You guys gonna be ok? me [making my Pop-Tart pop out of the toaster and trying to catch it] Come on! wife:9, you're in charge"

"TIL You can see all your friends by going to /r/friends ^^'cause ^^redditors ^^definetly ^^have ^^friends..."

"Who is the commander of cheese? Sargento"

"I hate my new Haircut!! ... But it'll grow on me =D Do you get it?"

"What do Grateful Dead fans say when they run out if weed? Who's playing this Shit?"

"Heard unemployment was 10%, but I just did a quick poll of everyone at the office, and it seems like that number may be way high."