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Joke of the Day

"What's the highest number in the world? 420"

"Pinocchio When did Pinocchio learn he was made of wood? when his hand caught fire!!"

"It was odd seeing pecan logs at the grocery store... because I usually don't get the logs until after I eat the pecans."

"I hate people with club feet... I'm lack toes intolerant."

"Father: I want to take my girl our of this terrible math class. Teacher: But she's top of the class. Father: That's why I think it must be a terrible class."

"Have you heard about those guys at ISIS? They're on fire!"

"What do you call a noisy Chinese dog? How-Ling (my dad wanted me to post this)"

"[Cop questioning suspected watermelon thief] COP: *squints* Was it you? GIRAFFE (who has watermelon-sized bulge halfway down his neck): Nope"

"Maybe Hitler became evil because he was mad that after so many years of lifting his hand nobody high fived him."

"My wife told me to stop singing Wonderwall I said Maybe"