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Joke of the Day

"Why would people always stand still to hide from Martin Luther King Jr.? His vision was based on movements."

"How do you keep your dog young for longer? [Terrible OC] Keep them stored in some quality... pupperware!"

"eer booze and fun!' 'Sign seen in a bar: ""Those drinking to forget please pay in advance."""

"Unless you're a toddler heading towards traffic I'm not running after you."

"Q: What does Teddy Kennedy have that Bill Clinton wishes he did? A: A dead girlfriend."

"I feel like I've had this mustard before...... it must be Dijon Vu"

"I just found out what ballerinas call their dresses. I just put two and two together."

"When is the best time to have diarrhea? During scrabble. Because it's worth a shitload of points. - Zach Galifianakis"

"Q: What's the slowest thing in the world? A: A Mexican funeral with only two sets of jumper cables."

"Who is the biggest slut in the whole wide world? Mrs. pacman. For 25 cents that bitch would swallow balls til she died."