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Joke of the Day

"I just found out what ballerinas call their dresses. I just put two and two together."

"Bought some sneakers off of a drug dealer... I don't know what he laced them with but I've been trippin' all day!"

"Spoof Caller ID Call from a different number. Disguise your caller id, it's easy and works on any phone!"

"My friend asked if I could help him write a bedtime story for his kids. I thought ""what a novel idea""."

"Curiosity is on #Mars. Sure went a long way after killing the cat."

"I bought my wife a pair of slippers and a dildo for Christmas... If she doesn't like the slippers she can go fuck herself. - From The Sopranos"

"A gang, with one of the members being called Gus, offers a group of cannibals a fight The leader of the cannibals says, ""Alright then, we'll have your *Gus for garters*!"""

"I used to be a stoner in my home country... ...but then I started to respect women"

"Behind every good selfie is approximately 47 nearly identical pictures that didn't make the cut."

"What did the scientist say when he stubbed his toe? Flourine Uranium Carbon Potassium."