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Joke of the Day
"What famous American filmmaker lived in a safe? Vault Disney"
Next Joke
"Whats the difference between acne and a priest? Acne waits until a boy's 14 to come on his face."
"Daughter: How was your day, Daddy? Me: Pretty busy, lots of meetings and deadlines. Her: DEAD LIONS!?!"
"{marriage counseling} I guess it all started when I saw him put the toothpaste on before the water... *therapist scribbles furiously*"
"My entire existence is just me sitting around waiting to get hungry again"
"So I heard, that after a long debate, they finally announced the hide and seek champion of 2014. 1st place went to Malaysia Airlines Flight 370!"
"Maybe it's the LSD talking but I am the walrus goo goo goo joob."
"Velcro. It's a rip off."
"Why do you never wanna see an elevator in a horror game? Cuz you know something's about to go down. Im sorry"
"I like older men because they've gotten used to life's disappointments. Which means they're ready for me."