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Joke of the Day

"No body What do you call a man with no body and a nose? Nobody knows!"

"Sad that at 36 I have yet to experience the dirty dancing lift. If it doesn't happen by 40 I'll just start running at random strangers."

"Cats probably wouldn't need 9 lives if they wore tiny little helmets and didn't smoke cigarettes."

"THERAPIST: What's the problem with your marriage? WIFE: He replaces words with animal names just to annoy me ME: I don't do it on porpoise"

"Did you hear the one about the dad that said son if you keep masturbating you'll go blind! The son said dad I'm over here."

"We have to break up. What? Why? It's not Staryu... it's Starmie."

"I bought shoes from a drug dealer I don't know what he laced them with, but I was tripping all day"

"What do snake charmers do in the rain? Turn on their windshield vipers."

"Why does Sean Connery suck at DIY? A lack of shelf awareness."

"the guy at the liquor store didn't card me and it hurt my feelings so I said I was a cop and idk what to do next we're just standing here"