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Joke of the Day

"How Do You Circumcise a Redneck? Kick his sister in the chin."

"Take that seed. Yes that one Burn it. Now crunch it up. More. Now pour this hot water on it. Let me drink that. It's good. Name it ""coffee"""

"Running out of time to be a Trophy Wife, so now just hoping to be an I Finished The Race Tshirt Wife."

"Why couldn't the butterfly go to the Chistmas ball ? It was a moth ball !"

"I think it's time I remind you all that spoons are just tiny bowls with very long handles."

"You know your relationship is losing its spark when your wife wears a rape whistle to bed."

"Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? The p is silent."

"19: Help me think of a tweet. Me: I'm sorry for the never-ending selfies, duck lip poses, & whining about how hard my life is. 19: Maaaaa!"

"Met a girl cop today. She shot me down."

"How many Germans does it take to change a light bulb? One, because they are efficient and humorless."