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Joke of the Day

"A telemarketer called and said,""can I speak with the man of the house."" I replied, ""sure"" and gave the phone to the cat."

"I want to order rabbit at a fancy restaurant and then complain there is a hare in my food."

"I came here to kick ass and chew gum... And I've got new, longer-lasting Stride, so we'll be here for a while."

"The real problem with kissing a perfect 10 The cops come chasing after you"

"I have a Ring of *Dad Jokes* It's well rounded but not too bright"

"I was in an English exam and they asked ""Write the past tense of Think'"" I thought and thought about this for ages. Eventually, I went for Thunk'"

"I believe in equality. If we have a 5 day week of work, we should have 5 day weekends as well dammit."

"""I'm on my way."" -People who haven't even left the house yet."

"What's in the toilet of the Star Ship enterprise? The captains log"

"People from the UK have been exercising more. They've lost a few pounds."