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Joke of the Day

"I heard that virus is quite the athlete . . . Ebola perfect game."

"If you tell your girlfriend you think the girl at in the corner shop fancies you, you'll never have to pop out to get bread and milk again"

"I'm amazed how long I will watch a stupid infomercial, because I don't feel like reaching for the remote."

"ME: gimme a double BARMAN: [places an exact replica of me on the bar] ME: no I meant a double Scotch BARMAN: [puts a kilt on my replica]"

"My Favorite Latvian Joke One day, hear knock on door. Man ask ""Who is?"" ""Is potato man. I come around to give free potato."" Man is very excite and opens door. Is not potato man, is secret police."

"Game: ""Would you like to try the tutorial first?"" Me: ""No."" *minutes later* ""How the f*ck do you play this?"""

"What do you call the surgery when a woman gets a sex change? Addadictomy"

"So the waiter said ""The plate is hot"" and I said ""I'll be the judge of that, haha."" Anyhoo, I met a lot of nice people at the burn center."

"I had a job interview yesterday, I poured myself a glass of water and it overflowed slightly ""Nervous?"" asked the interviewer, I simply replied ""No I always give 110%."""

"Did you hear about the skunk who sat on a fan? He got cut off without a scent!"