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Joke of the Day

"I watched Se7en for the first time today, I was completely blind going in.. What's in the box!?!?!"

"I opened my closet, looking for my boots. And there they were... Gone! (as told to my by my Bella-Russian-Canadian (and redditor) friend)..."

"How do you get down from an elephant? You dont. You get down from a duck."

"What do you call a black guy on the moon? An astronaut, you racist."

"I play golf like I have sex I mostly hit 3's and 4's"

"Hey, do you like analogies? I got plenty! I got analogy to rabbits, analogy to grass, analogy to mold..."

"hmmm public speakimg clases..? well do u hav private speakimg clases? bc i hav a secret *leans in close to u* I NEVER LEARNED HOW TO WHISPER"

"Why did the man quit his job at the helium gas factory? He didn't like being spoken to in that voice"

"So which Gate works at the army? Col.Gate I'll leave now."

"What has a ring but no fingers? The former owner of a Note 7"