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Joke of the Day

"What's Whitney Houston's favorite type of co-ordination? HAAAANNNNNNNDDDDDDDDD EYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!"

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"Black Car I want a black car with a bumper sticker that says ""I'm not racist, my car is black."""
"What's Beethoven's favorite fruit? Elton John."
"Jesus killed the dinosaurs because he was tired of their bullshit."
"You are my methods. I am nothing without you."
"Why are men smarter during sex? Because they're usually plugged into a know-it-all."
"I want my headstone to read ""loving wife, evil dictator""."
"Q: What do you call a white, poofy space alien? A: Martianmallow."
"I bumped into an owl friend of mine... ... who told me he was getting engaged. I said, ""You twit, to who?"""
"It's impossible to be a parent and stay on twitter so I'm afraid it's time to say goodbye. So this is your uncle, you live with him now."
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