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Joke of the Day

"""I love potatoes! They are delicious and so versatile. If only they could get me laid..."" -how vodka was born"

"While i was stealing my dad's laptop ""yank motherfucker!"" . . . ""awe, god damn it."""

"What do you call a confused Asian? Disoriental."

"A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of..."

"joe: siri address me as poopyhead siri: okay poopyhead *obama enters* barack: joe have you seen my phone? joe: yep here *runs away giggling*"

"Heckling I am looking for some heckling like jokes to yell out during soccer games. Any ideas?"

"What I hate about pasta is how they change the shape and act like it's a different food. I'm out to expose the fraud."

"What's a vampire's favourite dance? The vaults!"

"What do you call a tropical depression on a SE Asian island? Malaise-ia"

"What's black and white with red all over it? A nun with multiple stab wounds."