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Joke of the Day

"McDonalds employees get so cranky when you perform the entire dance routine to Britney Spear's ""I'm a slave for you"" before ordering."

"When I'm in the bathroom a long time, I come out sniffing & wiping my nose so people think I was doing coke and not making a doody"

"2 men walk into a bar The third one ducks."

"What do you call a pig that does karate? A pork chop."

"I need a hobby where I say stuff and people follow me around."

"What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup? You can roast beef!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

"How do you know your wife is dead? The sex is the same but the dishes keep piling up."

"How to get rid of crabs First, shave off half your pubes. Then light the other half on fire, as they run to the shaved side, stab them with a knife."

"My debit card got stolen at the gym which is fine because i will still continue to go so that I can train to fight the person who stole it"

"What do you call a lesbian dinosaur with vertigo? Falloffalottapuss"