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Joke of the Day

"Why aren't there any knock-knock jokes about America? Because freedom rings"

"Every time Chuck Norris smiles, someone dies. Unless he smiles while he's roundhouse kicking someone in the face. Then two people die."

"You know, I really didn't like my new haircut... But then it grew on me."

"How do you get a Jewish prostitute high? You stone 'er."

"Heard this one from my trumpet playing band director Does anyone know the Trumpeteer handshake? ""Hi, I'm better than you"""

"If Santa Claus and Mrs. Claus had a child what would he be called? A subordinate claus."

"Women freeze their eggs until they are ready to be a mom? Can I freeze my two year old until I'm ready?"

"I sometimes dream of a rivers of orange soda But it's just a fanta-sea"

"Your baby has no idea that you threw him a 1st birthday party. All you did was inconvenience your friends."

"I probably wouldn't know what to do with my hands if you were murdering me, but there's a strong possibility I would hug you really tight."