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Joke of the Day

"It met a girl with 12 nipples. Sounds funny, Dozen tit?"

"What's the best thing about being black? Not having to listen to awful dad jokes."

"(First Day as Mailman) ME: *wearing a suit made out of stapled together pieces of mail* Sup? BOSS: You're supposed to deliver those. ME: No."

"Monday mornings are spent avoiding people who might ask about my weekend."

"What's the hardest part of the vegetable to eat? The wheelchair."

"What's the difference between jam and marmalade? You can't marmalade your cock into your girlfriend's ass."

"Two Scotsmen walk past a baker One turns to the other and says 'Is that a cake or a meringue?' The other replies 'no you're right, it's a cake'"

"What did Sonic the Hedgehog say during Ramadan? ""Gotta go fast!"" ^I'll^see^myself^out..."

"I wanted to make a joke about quantum physics, but I wasn't sure if I should. So I did and didn't."

"I keep misreading ISS as ISIS... ...so I was very confused when we were sending ISIS The Martian"