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Joke of the Day

"Today I walked up to some girls and asked if they liked guys with big dicks They replied yeah. I replied, ""I'm sorry for wasting your time..."" turned around and walked away awkwardly."

"If all else fails, pretend you don't speak English."

"What do you call man without toes? What do you call a man without toes and is allergic to milk? Lack-toes intolerant!!"

"What did the patriarchy serve at their dinner party? Traditional gender rolls."

"I hope at the end of the movie, Batman and Superman have to sit down and write a list of all the things they appreciate about each other."

"You ever hear the joke about the 3 holes in the back yard? Well well well...."

"Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 eight 9. That's right; That's the punchline."

"[flirting w/girl at bar] And that's why [takes sip from elephant sippy cup] I always use a sippy cup [lid falls off and spills juice on me]"

"In the movie Titanic it always bugged me that she stayed on the raft when clearly she had more body fat for warmth."

"What do you call a man with no arms or legs playing in the leaves? Russell."