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Joke of the Day

"Whats similar between a hurricane and women? They come in hot and wet and leave with **THE LAWN CHAIRS WE BOUGHT TOGETHER SARA YOU BITCH!**"

"Why should a midget not attempt to slaughter a cow? The steaks are just too high."

"What side of a leopard has the most spots? The outside"

"Dominos pizza delivery cars should be allowed to use sirens."

"My brother and I were playing chess, and I said to him 'care to make this interesting?' He said 'sure'. So we stopped playing chess."

"Why do molluscs only think of themselves? Because they're shellfish"

"If bird-watching is called bird-watching, what do you cal cow-watching? A steak out."

"Her: So what do you do? Him: I'm a pickup artist. Her: Pig! [leaves] Him: *sighs* [puts away prints of exquisitely painted Ford F-150s]"

"So a pope, a pedophile, and a rapist walks into a bar... He asks for a drink. ^^^^Take ^^^^as ^^^^much ^^^^time ^^^^as ^^^^you ^^^^need ^^^^to ^^^^think ^^^^about ^^^^it..."

"What's the funniest thing you have heard about US Politics? Donald Trump, President of the United States of America"