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Joke of the Day

"A Jewish boy ask to borrow a $20 from his father. His father replies, ""$10?!?! What on earth do you need $5 for!"

"Help! I'm 13 and want to get preggo .....but my boyfriend wants Ragu."

"Why do French tanks have rear-view mirrors? So they can see the battle."

"What colour does a smurf turn when you choke it? I don't know, I was too busy masturbating."

"What's the difference between Ozzy Osborne and Whitney Houston? One plays hard rock, the other is rock hard."

"Did you hear about the suicide bomber that became a Youtube sensation? He never thought he'd blow up like this."

"Accidentally brushed my teeth with hemorrhoid cream ...but at least my asshole smells minty fresh"

"Why do my eyes hurt? Because I got eye lashes."

"Policeman: Didn't you see that stop sign? Driver: I keep my eyes closed in traffic."

"Caller ID should be more specific. It should say things like, ""Needs to borrow money"" or ""Will whine about petty stuff""."