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Joke of the Day

"What did the man say to the suffocating clown? You've got to be choking"

"Why did Dracula need medicine? Because he was coffin."

"How do you make holy water? Boil the hell out of it. I'll show myself out."

"Boss: Have I made myself clear? Me: No, I can still see you. Boss: Shakes head."

"With Jupiter ascending flopping the wachowskis are planning to quit the movie biz and going into the fast growing Mexican food business They are planning on naming their company as the Nachoskis"

"Mathematician Problems What do mathematicians do when they are constipated? They work it out with a pencil."

"I accidentally arrived at work five minutes early today. Speeding CAN be dangerous, kids."

"Chicken stock has gone up today, but only by a poultry sum."

"What do you call a person who is outstanding in their field? A farmer"

"Why did ISIS burn 10000 copies of ""Dark Side Of The Moon""? Because it's a terrible album."