107485

Joke of the Day

"Bought my epileptic girlfriend a strobe light for her birthday... She will have a fit when she sees it."

"Why is the bat-boy the luckiest guy on the baseball team? Because when he grows up he will be Batman."

"I'm concerned about my local funeral parlour closing down It's right on the high street, but every time I walk past it's dead in there"

"He's making his list. He's checking it twice. He's gonna find out how many Jews will suffice. Oskar Schindler's coming to town."

"How can you tell when your wife is dead? The sex is the same but the dishes start to pile up."

"How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh 10 tickles"

"A miser writes his will and names himself as the heir. This is actually one of the oldest known jokes. http://mentalfloss.com/article/57470/11-jokes-worlds-oldest-jokebook"

"The man who worte the Hokey Pokey died. They had a hard time placing him in the coffin. They put his left leg in, but as soon as they started trying to put the right leg in they had problems."

"Seems like the most reliable way to get rid of some people is just to lend them money....))"

"ME: i thought i saw a new color today WIFE: wait- is this..are you.. M: but it- W: oh no M: was just- W: dont M: a pigment of my imagination"