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Joke of the Day

"Will you come to my party on Saturday? Yes please What's the address? 25 The High Street. Just push the bell with your elbow. Why with my elbow? Well you won't be empty-handed will you!"

"A man walks into a zoo... ...the only animal in the whole entire zoo is a dog. It's a shitzu."

"A couple years ago my therapist told me I had problems letting go of the past."

"What do you call the amount of time it takes to win an argument with a lawyer? An attornity."

"I always look for the best looking cashier at the supermarket and always end up at the self checkout lane"

"Man, you see that clown who's been spending all day hiding from faggots? No, havn't seen him? Interesting.."

"How many LA cops does it take to change light bulb? Six. One to do it and five to smash the old bulb to splinters."

"The Asian Grading Scale is... A++ (100.01%+)=Average FA+ (0-100%)=Find new famaree who can accept your white peoples grade."

"What are the four fastest hands in the world? ...when it slips out."

"I just want to apologize to all the guys I dated BEFORE I started using Prozac. And to their wives. And their local fire departments."