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Joke of the Day

"Why did the scout leader get arrested? They caught him eating a brownie"

"Why couldn't the lifeguard save the drowning hippie? [x-post from r/gratefuldead ] Because he was too far out man!"

"What's the difference between a drunk Morse code operator and a lesbian? One's a lit clicker and the other is a clit licker."

"Listen. I may be a nerd, but I have had sex. Just ask my wife. (Please don't ask my wife.)"

"I took my girlfriend to a baseball game. I kissed her between every strike.... and she kissed me between the balls."

"I told my dad I lost my virginity... He said ""You were on bottom?... Then you really fucked up""."

"Back in my day, I used to have to walk 4 miles to the nearest store. Because I had too many DUIs."

"It's weird that America has never had a bald eagle president but Australia has had several kangaroo prime ministers (I assume)."

"How did Luke Skywalker know what Darth Vader got him for his Birthday? He felt his presents."

"How many kids with ADD does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Lets go ride bikes."