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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a snarky criminal going down a flight of stairs? A condescending con descending."

"ISIS is not Global Warming... I heard Pratt & Whitney were United tonight. God bless you both!"

"What do jehovah's witnesses believe in? That I will open the door"

"[chicken buying a car] Salesman: Hop on in! You're gonna love these bucket seats. Chicken: OH GOD"

"What can a Chicken do that you cannot? Eat with his pecker."

"What did the dog do with the history professor? They got together and talked over old times."

"A man goes to a doctor Man : Doc, I have been hurting in places. Doc : Then don't fucking go to those places."

"My son approaches even small chores with the enthusiasm of a POW forced to build a railway bridge over the river Kwai."

"Why is Monica Lewinsky voting for Donald Trump? Because a Clinton left a very bad taste in her mouth."

"She was only a whiskey maker... ...but he loved her still."