107291

Joke of the Day

"What did the boy with no hands get for Christmas? Gloves! Just kidding... He hasn't unwrapped his present yet"

"Girlfriends are like Gym Memberships You have it, you just never pay attention to it."

"Ate too much salad today so I'm going on an Oreos cleanse tomorrow."

"Sometimes my stomach will make a noise and my brain will be like ok I never signed off on that"

"Him: Didn't you buy that apple pie yesterday? Me: Yeah, so? Him: There's one small piece left. Me: And if you touch it, I'll stab you."

"Did you read about the skeleton trapped in the freezer? It was a bone-chilling story."

"Women fake orgasms to have relationships. Men fake relationships to have orgasms."

"Egyptian alcoholics are the hardest to talk to..... They are always in denial."

"What do US Jews call Santa? Sennah."

"My girlfriend is like the square root of -100. She's a 10, but she's imaginary."